I will be away tomorrow and don’t know what to do about the blog. I could summarise when I get back. Nothing really matters. I am finding that knowing I ‘have’ to blog later in the day is focusing my mind a little. It is still nothing more than chat. I do enjoy it. I am toying with creating a structure for a ‘book’, even down to the smallest of details. I assume that once such a document exists it is a simple task of adding flesh to the bones. I have the basic idea in mind, a novel. The story has been following me like an amorous dog for years. With descriptive prose like that, sure to be a winner.  

So many projects, so little enthusiasm. Email is taking over most of my life. If not replying to it, filtering out the ones that suggest I need a larger cock or that extra bit of help keeping it up. I have been finding and adding more information about PQ to various websites in the hope of expanding the global nature of it. My ultimate hope is that I can take an issue to the troubled middle east and sort out the mess. Politicians don’t have all the answers, to be frank; I don’t think many of them know much. Not about real life.  

When I was doing the degree, we had a small gallery. It was around the corner from my house and I managed to persuade other students to pay for it. I ran it, we all coughed up, not much, about twenty quid a month each. We sold work, we had other artists keen to ‘rent’ the space, and it was a good little project. I don’t think we did the place justice as a gallery and every now and then I get thrown into mental torture when the building is available again. It is now. People seem to rent it for short periods and use it for dubious reasons. Party hire shops that are rarely open, a flower shop that didn’t last long. Horbury is an odd place, none of the shops are normal. Hat shops for middle aged ladies. A specialist cake shop. Gift shops that don’t sell anything nice or useful. We had that unit for eighteen months, finishing when the degree was over. We had a lot of press coverage, some of it ‘controversial’ because of the type of work shown. People knew about the gallery.  

I want it back. I feel like it is still my gallery. If I could afford it, I would open it again. It would be part studio (a desk, kettle, radio) and part gallery. It is small but just enough of a space to make it work and it is self-contained, one of the cutest buildings I have seen. I might post a jpeg.  

I want to work more. I want days where I do nothing apart from draw and paint and make. Too much time is spent on the computer or fiddling about with other chores. I have it quite good really, plenty of time, no real pressure to get a ‘proper job’, time for the children. One day a week locked away in a garret with nothing to do but work, smoke and scratch my arse. Oh, you can’t smoke in any confined space anymore. Works, fag break, scratch my arse. The painting never happened, the net got in the way. In the end, you prioritise. I can paint next week, scribble, daub. Not painting has cleared my mind a little as to what it is I need to paint for the PEEP! show. I have the images already sketched out; it was the surface that was causing the problem. I have no money. Ideally, for this show and to double up for the next, I would be making them on canvases. I only have boards or paper. I don’t have the right sized boards and my jigsaw skills leave something to be desired. I don’t have the time to find boards that are suitable, so it looks like a paper based and odd board job. It should be all right. I am bored of this post. Fuck it.  

705 words


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